Gillette has totally ruined having beards for men with their (definitely biased) survey results. They found that 85% of surveyed women preferred smooth or clean-shaven men, with only 59% or less preferring beards. Finally, a whopping 9 out of 10 women say they would kiss a clean shaven man more often and for longer.
Of course, I just happen to believe that the non-(beard)believers just need to right kind of beard and reason to be converted into believers. So, by beard brothers, here’s how we’re going to convert them.
Make Facial Hair Look Good
Unfortunately, beards can very easily make us look unprofessional, unkempt and a little bit like a hobo. If you want her to like how your manly scruff, you’ll need to match your face shape to beard style.
Notice how women never ever complain about how David Beckham looked when he grew out his facial hair? Aside from the fact that he is ridiculously good looking, he made sure that his square-shaped face was a perfect fit for his very light facial hair. He didn’t go with a full beard, and had a short hairstyle that complimented his facial hair. He had a plan going into that beard, and you should too.
If you need more help, here’s a handy guide to face shapes and facial hair styles.
Always Keep It Soft
Now that your facial hair looks good, it’s time to make it feel good. Remember, the ladies who love beards, love them soft. If you’re wondering why, just look at their hair. Those soft, luscious curls are what they’re comparing your facial hair with, meaning their only frame of reference for hair has two key descriptors: “Soft” and “Fragrant”.
Therefore, your facial hair should be soft, clean and fresh-smelling. Go get yourself a beard shampoo and beard oil. Never, ever allow it to be scratchy.
Groom, Groom, Groom!
Every day (or two, if you’re lazy), look into the mirror and carry out maintenance! Short beards need to be trimmed and longer beards need to be combed for effect. Remember that your beard must lend you gravitas and class. It should always give you that presence. A meticulously groomed beard can mean the difference between a Battle-damaged Gandalf beard and a Tom Ford-esque beard.
Just look at him and tell me girls won’t kiss him, beard and all!
Stubble Is Stupid
Guys, if you’ve ever rubbed sandpaper on your skin before, you’ll know exactly how it feels when you kiss your girl while you have stubble on your face. Here’s the thing: It hurts her. If she doesn’t tell you, she’ll tell her friends about your “beard”, further traumatising her female friends. This definitely spoils things for the rest of us bearded brothers.
You have two options: Go completely clean-shaven, or don’t put your face near hers until you have an actual, well-groomed beard. As the manly Ron Swanson once said: