The gym is a busy place. It’s full of time-starved executives rushing through their lunch workout, muscled dudes just getting their pump on, cardio addicts getting their fix. Finally, there’s you, just working out. But every once in a while, you’ll come across one of these inconsiderate types. You know, the type of person that clearly hasn’t picked up any manners from school? Yeah. Here are some of the most annoying gym archetypes to ever lift a weight, so you can nod vigorously at the screen in silent agreement. Yes, we feel your pain too.
1. Grunting Gary
Often recognised by the “unnghh” sound he makes, Gary intrudes into your workout in the most audible manner. Gary is so strong, he’s going for the biggest dumbbells in the room and the heaviest weight setting he can find on the machines. Lifting all this weight means he’s really intense. Gary is lifting a ridiculous amount of weight, and he wants everyone to know. I mean, how else would we know that he’s building those muscles, right? So he’s going to grunt for every rep he does. Jeez Gary, the weights are too heavy for you. Quit grunting and switch out to a lighter load.
2. Selfie Sally
“I’m hitting the gym, but first, lemme take a selfie. #fitspo”
Yeah. We all know Sally. She’s snapping selfies in the mirrors and is more worried about her makeup running, than doing any actual running. We all want to look good, and Sally does it the best in the gym. Come to think of it, that’s quite a low bar for Sally to set, since almost no one looks good after burning 500 calories on a treadmill.
3. iPhone Ivan
iPhone Ivan really knows how to work on the go. He’s tapping out that email while he taking a 10-minute break from his three-set chest press workout. He’s talking to his colleagues while he’s on the treadmill. Ivan’s efficiency is everyone else’s loss as they have to listen to him drone while they’re trying to get into their own zones and crush their workouts. Your only comfort is visualising him falling off that treadmill. We repeat: Leave the work out of the workouts!
4. Violent Vanessa
This one is personal, and a pet peeve: Treating equipment with disrespect. Violent Vanessa doesn’t care that everyone else needs that equipment as much as she does. She’s going to abuse the treadmill buttons that don’t respond to her by tapping them harder. Last rep on a machine? She’s going to just let the weight slam back down. Gym equipment might be heavy duty, but enough abuse will still cause it to break down.
5. Stinking Sam
Sam doesn’t just need a shower after his workout, he needed one the week before. If you’re feeling sleepy on the treadmill, just turn and sniff. We guarantee that you’ll wake up. But seriously, we’ve come across guys (and girls) who seem to stink to the high heavens but come across as having no idea that they do. It might be their clothes, or it might be just them. Maybe all they need is a deodorant that works. Either way, it’s not pleasant. Personal hygiene is important, but in a place where hundreds of people are sweating at the same time, it’s as important as oxygen.
6. Flexing Francis
Francis is swole. Do you know how we know? Well, Francis is standing in front of the weight room mirror admiring the definition in his arms while simultaneously blocking us from checking our form. Guys like him stand around flexing, because gym work is about two things for them: Lifting and preening like peacocks. It’s totally fine if the gym is empty and there’s plenty of space for us to move and find another spot, but when there are 40 other guys in the same area, it’s kind of hard.
7. Sweat Stain Shauna
Shauna works out hard. She hits the weights and does her cardio, and everywhere she goes, she leaves her mark. A very wet, gross mark. Yes, Shauna doesn’t care about whether you end up sitting in her perspiration or not. She uses her gym towel to wipe the sweat off her brow, but when it comes to gym equipment, she thinks it’s alright to leave her sweat on it to evaporate. She just wants to finish her set and move to the next machine, sans wipe down. If you bump into a Shauna at the gym, stop her before she leaves and make her wipe the machine down!
Awareness is the Solution
We know every one of these inconsiderate types of people exist in every gym. Seeing all of these people in the gym is already bad enough, so make sure you don’t become one of them! Be aware that every action you take will affect people, whether it’s positively or negatively. The best part is that you’re in control of how you behave, so if everyone just becomes a little more self-aware, we could make our workouts in the gym a lot more pleasant!